to be held

Where the soul is involved, writes Thomas Moore, "you have no choice but to stay close to the emotions and the fantasies. You can trust them, not to arrange life the way you want it, but to arrange the elements of your soul in a way that will offer rich life in the future."

He writes wonderfully on the topic of long-term relationships, and marriage in particular, as a vessel:

"People still don't know how to do several things at once or understand the importance of imagination in relationship. They suffer their unions because they think of them as unconscious, surface acts instead of deep developments of the soul. Many people aim for surface compatibility instead of deep, non-rational connection.

Alchemical pictures show the king and queen embracing in a retort or pear-shaped vessel. They are contained in a vessel and in solution. This is marriage, a sealed place where the soul ripens and a watery solution in which the two chief figures can unite, like chemicals separating and coagulating. Its purpose is to give you a vessel in which you and your partner come apart and grow together in a rhythm that is fundamentally human. 

Marriage is a vessel of transformation. It is a small version - a retort and not the ocean - of the night sea journey. It all takes place between two people and in a single home. The issues are similar. Will you rise to the occasion and become a true partner? Or will you look for an escape and sneak out through the holes in your vessel?"

This man's writing gives me strength and courage for moving forward. He gets it. Or rather, he gets me, and puts to words what I feel the potential in a deep union can be. To be held, not so much by the other (though that feels nice), but by something a little larger than either one of you. To sink and float and bob in cycles, together, apart, but always held.