catch up already

"There is no ache more deadly than the striving to be oneself." - Yevgeniy Vinokurov

Slow parenting. Slow food. Slow cities. Slow travel. Slow money! Slowing down in general is something I've been thinking a lot about, as it feels like I'm in a constant, self-created race to catch up. There really is so much to catch up on, as I emerge from the ruins of a relationship that, in truth, really held me back in so many ways. Where to start?

Slowly. Start with a rested spirit and shaky footsteps, but also with the trust that things will be okay, and that I can't speed through them. There isn't one place I want to get to, but rather, I want to learn to enjoy the process, accept the difficulties along with the successes, and build something more solid, more secure, and at the same time, more free. 

"My desire to live is as intense as ever, and though my heart is broken, hearts are made to be broken: that is why God sends sorrow into the world... To me, suffering seems now a sacramental thing, that makes those whom it touches holy... any materialism in life coarsens the soul."  -- Oscar WIlde

Mostly I realize that there are the same number of hours in a day (and one might reflect, years in my life) whether I rush myself through them in a state of overwhelmed anxiety, or take the time to breathe deeply (as cliche as it sounds), play a game with my daughter, make the bed in the morning and sleep well, every night. 

I'm willing to take the risk of missing out, in order to gain (I hope) a little more calm.

And you'll notice I've slipped in three quotes to catch up (I can't resist) on my "daily" blog project :)

"There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval." -- George Santayana